How to Hate Acceptances and Love Rejections

Unless you're a masochist, you love acceptances and hate rejections. Sure, it's gratifying when a story or poem is accepted for publication, but to get to that point, the piece may have been rejected numerous times, and that really sucks. I'll explain how you can reverse it, how you can learn to hate acceptances and love rejections.

After you've gotten a piece ready for publication, simultaneously submit your piece to a lot of markets--let's say a round number like 100. It can be more or fewer, though, depending on your preference. Check out Duotrope's "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," and make sure some of the markets are in "The Slothful" and "The Challenging" categories, if not both, but avoid submitting to any in "The Swift" and "The Approachable." The longer they take to respond and the more difficult to crack, the better. 

Now sit back and wait for responses. Do you know what you have to do when you receive a rejection? Nothing! Do you know what you have to do when you receive an acceptance? If you're scrupulous, you have to withdraw the piece from every single market you submitted to, and if you submitted to 100, then you have to withdraw the piece from 99 others (provided none of the others responded first, etc.). This arrangement creates a lot of work on your end, and that's why you'll grow to hate acceptances and love rejections.

For the record, I don't actually do this, but I can envision it working to the extent that someone could reverse their reaction to acceptance and rejection.