Jason Jordan and His Blog

The Dying Horse Is Unleashed

2012-01-24T00:05:00.000-05:00

Today, January 24, The Dying Horse is officially released. I've heard of copies making their way into the world. Don't have your copy yet? Buy it here. Want to help me out? No? I didn't think so, but you can by spreading the word via Facebook, Goodreads, Google+, Twitter, telegram, etc.

Too cheap to buy one? No problem: I'm giving away five copies via Goodreads.

The Weight Is Over

2012-01-16T00:53:00.000-05:00

This quarter I'm again teaching one section of English 151: Writing and Rhetoric I, but instead of meeting daily for fifty minutes like we did last quarter, my new class meets twice a week for two and a half hours. I'm enjoying the scheduling change; meeting every weekday was a real chore. Modifying the syllabus to fit the new time slot has its challenges, but I'm glad I taught the same material last quarter. In other words, no more trial and error.

As for my classes, I'm taking a fiction workshop with Joan Connor and a nonfiction workshop with Dinty W. Moore. In Moore's class we're reading essays from John Jeremiah Sullivan's Pulphead. It's been good, and what's cool is that Sullivan was born in Louisville.

This past week Porter Shreve, who directs the Creative Writing Program at Purdue, visited OU as visiting writer in residence. The university gave me a copy of his latest book, When the White House Was Ours, and I liked it. The fiction writers met him for lunch on Thursday, and I had a one on one workshop with him a couple hours later, which went well. He read that night from a new, forthcoming book, and the fiction writers had a colloquium with him on Friday morning about novel writing.

One thing I got for Christmas that I'm loving:

I'm trying to refrain from being glued to my DROID RAZR, but I'm fond of the apps I've been using: Angry Birds, Blogger, Dictionary, Facebook, Fruit Ninja, Gmail, Goodreads, Google+, IMDb, Yahoo! Mail, Onion News Network, Roller, ScoreCenter, Scrabble, Tetris, The Weather Channel, Twitter, UNO, Wiki Encyclopedia, Word Search, YouTube, and so forth. Having never played Scrabble as a kid, I'm finding out that I suck at it. Still, aside from the many fun timesuck activities the phone provides, it's nice to have access to the Internet all the time, plus I like being up on technology.

I'm dieting now. I haven't lost any weight yet, but I'm eating healthier and exercising regularly, so I'm optimistic that I'll at least improve my day to day life. I've been home both weekends since the quarter started, however, and that has screwed over my diet because I can't seem to resist the food lying around. I guess I'm also treating my weekends home as a time to binge before I return to Athens, where I haven't been buying unhealthy foods. No more Coke Zero, sadly. I'm still buying chocolate, though. I can't deal without chocolate.

The Audition

2011-12-26T17:37:00.000-05:00

I first met Ryan W. Bradley at an audition for the part of Casey Jones in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990). Needless to say, we failed to get the part, because Elias Koteas bested both of us. Now Bradley has written a book titled Code for Failure, due out on March 27, 2012, from Black Coffee Press, that is available for pre-order for only $12.95.

Best (and Worst) Books of 2011

2011-12-14T19:56:00.000-05:00

I feel that no matter how many books I read per year, I still won't consider the total enough. Nonetheless, I think I read a good amount, even though classes prevented me from doing much leisure reading during September, October, and November. As I've said, my Goodreads is the best way to keep up with what I'm reading and what I think of books I've read. My 2010 list is here, my 2009 list is here, and my 2008 list is here. In the words of The Joker: "And here we...go."

Best Novel

Kevin Wilson - The Family Fang - Ecco

Last year I noted that no novel truly floored me. There were some good ones, but none I'd consider great. This year, however, I read a few novels that impressed me to the extent that I'd feel comfortable awarding each the top slot. Kevin Wilson's The Family Fang wins it, though, with likable characters, an intriguing plot with tension, good dialogue and descriptions, humor, and all-around great writing. In other words, every facet of this book is praiseworthy. The fact that one of the characters is a writer may irk some, but that's a minor complaint.

"But Jason," you may say, "didn't Kevin Wilson blurb your forthcoming novella The Dying Horse? And doesn't that make you biased?" Yes and perhaps, but keep in mind that I asked Kevin for a blurb because I enjoy his work. I asked for the blurb prior to The Family Fang, and I wasn't prepared for just how good it is.

Honorable Mentions: Chris Bachelder's Abbott Awaits (Yellow Shoe Fiction), Mel Bosworth's Freight (Folded Word), T. J. Forrester's Miracles, Inc. (Simon & Schuster)

Best Short Story Collection

Ryan Call - The Weather Stations - Caketrain

While several novels could've garnered top honors this year, there wasn't a collection head and shoulders above the rest. Even so, there's a lot to like in Ryan Call's The Weather Stations, which features imaginative, fantastical stories about people dealing with weather. The book's striking cover and pleasing layout add to the value.

Honorable Mentions: Roxane Gay's Ayiti (Artistically Declined Press), Karl Taro Greenfeld's NowTrends (Short Flight / Long Drive Books)

Best Chapbook

Justin Hamm - Illinois, My Apologies - RockSaw Press

When I think of Justin Hamm's poetry, the following words come to mind: authenticity, bleakness, blue collar, genuineness, hardworking, honesty, rawness, sorrow. Besides the poems--each is of high quality and many are emotionally evocative--the overall package conveys just how much time, effort, and care went into the production of this fine chapbook.

Honorable Mentions: None

Best Literary Magazine

Hobart - Aaron Burch - Editor

From year to year, Hobart is consistently one of my favorite literary journals. They publish monthly online issues, and this year they published Hobart #12, a welcome addition to the journal's print legacy. Likewise, I always enjoy reading the month's (dis)likes, and the editors recently added a Tumblr. Not to be overlooked is the journal's press Short Flight / Long Drive Books. Unsurprisingly, each SF/LD release is good--I especially like Adam Novy's The Avian Gospels and Michelle Orange's The Sicily Papers--and each is worth owning. I'm eager to find out what 2012 holds in store for Hobart.

Honorable Mentions: Dark Sky Magazine, > kill author

Worst Book

Justin Taylor - The Gospel of Anarchy - Harper Perennial

I bought Justin Taylor's The Gospel of Anarchy based on its premise and cover. The first few pages are promising, but that's about it. I didn't like any of the characters, and the plot lacks adequate tension, important stakes. Further, the novel fails to convincingly establish the reasons why the story takes place when (1999) and where (Gainesville, Florida) it does. Because I didn't like the book enough to keep it, I passed it on to Spencer Dew, who panned it in his review. So, based on Spencer's review and various Goodreads ratings/reviews, it appears I'm not alone in my distaste.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my favorite books of 2011. What are yours?

They Bend Their Tongues

2011-12-02T01:10:00.000-05:00

Been off the blogosphere this past week while I was home, and have yet to catch up on my blog reading. Aside from the Thanksgiving festivities, which were good, I watched my brother play a lot of this:

I also watched this:

Though I was sad to see Michael go, I'm confident the show will remain good. After all, if the writers and cast are almost the same, everything should still click. I wait to watch the episodes until the season DVDs come out, so I haven't seen any of the Carell-free episodes yet. For now, my love of The Office is intact.

Now I'm back in Athens and ordering more books:

Roberto Bolano - 2666

Tim Kinsella - The Karaoke Singer's Guide to Self-Defense

Mickey Hess - The Nostalgia Echo

Justin Sirois - Falcons on the Floor

John Jeremiah Sullivan - Pulphead

I need a book-buying intervention. With the rest of my downtime, I hope to get some work on decomP done and write some stories.

If You Pre-order "The Dying Horse," I Will...

2011-11-20T18:26:00.002-05:00

Did you know that I have a novella titled The Dying Horse coming out on January 24, 2012, from Main Street Rag, and it's available for pre-order for only $6? You didn't? You must not surf the Web, watch TV, read magazines or newspapers, or listen to the radio, because it's been featured on all major news and gossip sites and shows. Anyway, for every copy of TDH you pre-order, also choose one of the following things I'll do:

beat your arch enemy to death with a tire iron
make Criss Angel's teeth disappear by giving him a well-deserved punch in the mouth
reinstate Joe Paterno as head coach of Penn State
subject myself to Loutallica's Lulu
go back in time to stop the Star Wars prequels from being made (offer also good for The Godfather: Part III, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, etc.)
end the NBA lockout
read and watch the Twilight saga and write a 1,000,000-word apologia
pepper-spray some occupiers
go forward in time to see if Sarah Palin serves a second term as president
solve a murder mystery (see first bullet point)

Choose wisely. Drug habit preventing you from spending a measly $6? (I understand, because I regularly abuse caffeine.) There's always the Goodreads giveaway:

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Dying Horse

by Jason Jordan

Giveaway ends February 24, 2012.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Water Through Fire

2011-11-18T01:44:00.000-05:00

Recently I ordered PANK 6, featuring work by Frank Hinton, Lindsay Hunter, Kat Lewin, Andrew Roe, Helen Vitoria, and many others.

I also ordered Karl Taro Greenfeld's NowTrends from Hobart's Short Flight/Long Drive Books, whose designs always impress me. My cover's the one on the left.

This week I've been eating too much of:

This week I've been playing too much of:

I no longer consider myself a gamer, but from time to time I'll play Tekken Tag Tournament on my PS2 or Mario Party 5 on my GameCube. But, recently I got the urge to start a new game of Super Mario Sunshine. I beat it a long time ago, but forgot most of it. I enjoyed this time through despite the maddening camera. Playing SMS makes me want to get a Wii and the Super Mario Galaxy games. I don't have an interest in gaming anymore beyond Mario--the star (pun intended) of the first video game I owned. My favorite Mario game? Super Mario 64.

Ball Saved

2011-11-14T14:40:00.000-05:00

Once a week I go to Speed Queen Laundry to, um, do my laundry. While there, I oftentimes sink a few quarters into the two pinball machines they have--The Flintstones and The Addams Family. Did you know there's an Internet Pinball Database? I've always enjoyed pinball, and though I'm not very good at it, I think it's a lot of fun. My main goal is to get multiball, which I've achieved a couple times on The Flintstones machine. Here's what it looks like:

This is the playfield:

Here's someone, who is much better than me, playing:

Still, in my defense, I think the machine I've been playing has a malfunction with the bottom right flipper, because it's not as responsive as the one in the video--at least that's my excuse for my ineptitude. I've played The Addams Family machine, but I prefer the playfield of The Flintstones.

I'd eventually like to own a pinball machine. Until then, I suppose I'll keep trying my hand only on laundry day.

My Five Favorite Foods

2011-11-08T22:45:00.000-05:00

About a year and a half ago I wrote about my five favorite drinks. I meant to follow that up with my five favorite foods, but I suppose late is better than never. So, to those of you who have been eagerly anticipating this post, I apologize for the delay. I'm ranking these dishes based primarily on taste and how often I want them.

Honorable Mentions: Cookies, Pears, Pecan Pie, Popcorn, Potatoes

5. Turkey

I don't eat a lot of meat, because I'm lazy when it comes to cooking, but my favorite meat is turkey. Most of the time I eat sliced turkey, though I prefer turkey burgers. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving Day turkey, of course.

4. Peanut Butter

I eat peanut butter every day. Along with milk, I use it as a protein substitute because I don't eat many other proteins (meat, beans, etc.). Of the kinds I've tried, I prefer Smart Balance Rich Roast Chunky. Yes, in the creamy versus crunchy war, I'm fighting for crunchy. It turns out a lot of people love peanut butter. I've sung its praises before, but PB alternative SunButter is great if you like sunflower seeds.

3. Burritos

Burritos are a versatile dish because so many different ingredients can be crammed into a burrito and it'll still be a burrito. I typically order chicken burritos, and though I don't have favorite Mexican restaurants as I don't eat at them often, Casa Nueva in Athens has an excellent burrito. Top the burrito with black bean salsa for even better results.

2. Chocolate

Like peanut butter, I eat chocolate every day. I usually keep DOVE Chocolate around--lately it's been White and Milk Chocolate Swirl Silky Smooth PROMISES. I have a big, cavity-riddled sweet tooth. I mean, huge. I've never met a dessert that is "too rich." Death by Cholocate? Yes, please.

1. Pizza

No surprise here. Perhaps this is an effect of being a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan growing up, but I could eat pizza every day. In the interest of money and health, however, I limit myself to one pizza per week. Similar to the burrito, pizza's really versatile, so pizza can vary from a simple dough, sauce, and cheese to virtually anything. I've written about Louisville pizza before--my favorite place is Za's--but there's a good place here in Athens called Avalanche. Of the chains, my favorite is Papa John's.

Disagree? (Impossible!) What are your favorites?

Only Fifty Arrests

2011-11-01T21:28:00.000-04:00

After being down since Saturday, my Internet's back up again. First world problems, you know? Now that I'm back online, I was able to use my $75 Amazon gift cards to purchase a haul. I bought these:

Chris Bachelder - Abbott Awaits

Ryan Boudinot - Blueprints of the Afterlife

Joan Connor - How to Stop Loving Someone

Amelia Gray - THREATS

Dinty W. Moore - Between Panic and Desire

Anis Shivani - Against the Workshop: Provocations, Polemics, Controversies

Also, I forgot to mention that /nor 10 is out. I read it. It's good. Here's the cover:

I'm counting down the days until the end of the quarter. I'll be glad to get a long break.

We Need Air Support

2011-10-21T22:18:00.000-04:00

I'm glad to have a new story titled "F5" in the Autumn 2011 issue of LITnIMAGE, an excellent online journal edited by Roland Goity. This story details what it's like to be in a factory bathroom while an F5 tornado's on the loose nearby. Some of it actually happened. Some of it did not.

In addition to still being available for pre-order for $6 from Main Street Rag, The Dying Horse is now on Goodreads here. Please add it and recommend it to others if you want to be nice. If you want to be mean, add it and recommend it to others.

For the past few years I've been racking up points with my PNC accounts. After I've earned 40,000, I choose a reward--a $100 gift certificate to Amazon. Unfortunately, as of September 12, my accounts are no longer eligible to participate in the points program. So, I used the points I had to get a $75 gift certificate to Amazon, which I'll use to buy a bunch of books, even though I'm swamped as is. I'll post the haul soon.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

2011-10-07T15:19:00.000-04:00

William Walsh's Ampersand, Mass., from Keyhole Press, arrived today! William Walsh--not to be confused with Bill Walsh, Dylan Walsh, John Walsh, or other famous Walshes--is also the author of excellent books such as Without Wax, Questionstruck, and Pathologies.

Additionally, Keyhole 11 is now available for pre-order for only $10. (I would've charged $11 to stick with the 11 theme, but that's just me.) Included: Callahan, Cogbill, Liederbach, Malone, Petersen, Pittelman, Sasaki, Svalina, Wyer.

Quick Fiction 18, featuring, among others, Roxane Gay, Dylan Nice (not to be confused with Dylan Walsh), and J. A. Tyler, can be pre-ordered now for $8 (Again, I would've charged $18, etc.).

Web:

> kill author

What do I have slated for the weekend? I have exciting plans--essay grading--during which I'll be like this teacher:

My Life as a Torture Survivor

2011-10-02T03:01:00.000-04:00

Early this past Friday evening, after teaching a class and observing one, I was in my apartment when someone knocked on my door. Normally I check the peephole if I'm not expecting anyone, but this time, for some reason, I didn't. Imagine my alarm when I opened the door to reveal a masked man dressed in black pointing a snubnosed revolver at me. He motioned me out of my apartment, stepped around me, and closed my apartment door. Holding the gun to my back, he escorted me down the stairs and into the back of a black van, where he bound my wrists and blindfolded me. I noticed that the driver was dressed the same as my captor.

After a few minutes--fifteen?--we evidently arrived at the destination. Once the van stopped, my captor cut my wrists free and removed the blindfold. This time he was wielding a knife that would make even Crocodile Dundee green (no pun intended) with envy.1 (Scroll to bottom to read footnotes.) At knifepoint I said, "This doesn't work." He said, "What?" I said, "You can't start with a gun and switch to a knife. It lessens the tension. If anything, you have to go bigger each time." He said, "What's bigger than a gun?" I said, "A bigger gun. Or a bomb." He opened a compartment and pulled out a bundle of dynamite with a timer affixed to it. I found myself at bombpoint, if there were such a thing. We debated about the legitimacy of the word "bombpoint," deciding, ultimately, that if one were to identify a "point" of the "bomb," then "bombpoint" could, indeed, exist. So, at bombpoint, the masked man escorted me into a place that, based on signage, I identified as Donkey Coffee and Espresso:

I prepared myself for torture. The "patrons" of this establishment were evidently accomplices of my captor, because they acted nonchalant as he forced me to buy a small coffee, which, actually, was quite good. After this, he led me to the back room, where I was introduced to Kelly Kathleen Ferguson. Due to her pioneer garb, I assumed she was a time traveler. Naturally I shied away from the obvious questions--Why am I here? What are you going to do to me?--to hopefully prolong my existence.

The room began to fill with, I suspected, those who would be privy to my cruel fate. When the crowd was large, this Ferguson took the stage and began reading from her new book My Life as Laura: How I Searched for Laura Ingalls Wilder and Found Myself. So torture it would be! I'm glad to report that I braved this onslaught of verbosity, despite my dismay at her ignoring superior Lauras from which to draw her material: Laura Bush, Laura Linney, Laura Schlessinger, and most important, Laura Winslow.2 During her reading, when I was not agonizingly bored to the point of suicide, I mulled over a more fitting title for her debut, finally settling on what I felt was the most accurate: My Life as Me: How I Searched for Myself and Found Me.

Fate, however, was apparently on my side because the torture mercifully ended at the conclusion of chapter one. Unfortunately, fate wasn't finished with me. My masked captor ushered me to the book table and demanded I fork over the money for the book, and of course I did.3 I was praying that this ordeal would soon end, that I'd be released physically intact, that I'd suffer only mental and emotional trauma. This didn't happen. I'll spare you the details by saying that I was driven to a house where many others of Ferguson's nefarious ilk pretended to engage in carefree reverie, though their true objective was, undoubtedly, to guard me, their hostage. Several hours later, I managed to escape with my life.

In the day since my abduction, I've acquired various weaponry and secured my apartment to the extent that I believe it is impenetrable. I invite those in the so-called arts to try capturing and subjecting me to the cruelest torture--that is, memoir.

1.

2.

3. After reading some of the first page (Why did I keep and read some of this book? I suppose I wanted to relive the horror of that night.), I must say that a more fitting opening line would read as follows: "Me me me me me me me me me me me me me."

Watch at Your Own Risk

2011-09-25T23:34:00.000-04:00

Several months ago I was on Cracked.com watching videos when I came across a Cracked TV video called "4 Child Vloggers Who Make Us Fear for Their Future." I was already familiar with a couple of them--Fred and Pruane2Forever--but one I hadn't heard of was supermac18. He's featured from 1:58-3:00:

I got a few laughs out of the video. Harmless, right? No. Not at all. Now, for some reason, occasionally I feel compelled to check in on these people and see if they posted new videos, even though their content sucks. Case in point:

Why do I subject myself to this? I don't know. Now that you're aware of these people, providing you weren't previously, will you be able to resist watching their vlogs from time to time? I hope so. If not, there's always suicide. Or homicide.

Shut Up/Look Pretty, an anthology of five chapbooks by Lauren Becker, Erin Fitzgerald, Kirsty Logan, Michelle Reale, and Amber Sparks, is now available for pre-order from Tiny Hardcore Press. It'll be out in January '12.

There's some other interesting stuff coming out early next year that is available for pre-order now:

Ryan Boudinot's Blueprints of the Afterlife from Grove

Amelia Gray's Threats from FSG

and this.

Party Hard

2011-09-13T23:31:00.000-04:00

So I've been really busy these past couple weeks, but then again, who isn't? In addition to taking two classes (four if you count the two classes that meet occasionally during the quarter), I'm teaching one section of English 151: Writing and Rhetoric, which meets M-F from 12-1. Every schedule has its (dis)advantages, but what I like most about teaching for an hour every day is that the classes go quickly. I'm more concerned about running out of time than material. It's going well, I think. Oh, and I have a faculty page. That picture was taken during orientation week, and as of last week, there's one major change:

click to enlarge

After four years, I trimmed my beard. I'd been thinking about doing it, because since I moved to Ohio, I've felt like changing some things about myself. Eating presents fewer annoyances now, as does sleeping. Call it Beard 2.0. Call it leaner, meaner. I've still got my hair, though, and I don't plan on trimming it anytime soon.

Recently, Poets & Writers awarded Ohio University the bronze medal for being the third top creative writing doctoral program, which is cool, and, of course, the Princeton Review awarded OU the gold medal for partying. Some professors took issue with the rankings of the former, but that's no surprise. Rankings are subjective, and that's what makes them so fun to write, read, and discuss. The ~~getting drunk~~ party award, however, just makes me feel old, that I'm a decade removed from being a freshman--not that I mind this.

I'm reading fiction and nonfiction for New Ohio Review, a.k.a. /nor, so come September 15, if you submit prose, there's a chance I'll read it.

Good stuff out now or coming very soon:

A cappella Zoo #7

Canteen #7

Dark Sky #12

Electric Literature #6

Even though the party school ranking has little meaning for me, it has still prompted me to watch this video several times since first reading about it:

The Dying Horse

2011-09-05T19:57:00.001-04:00

My novella, The Dying Horse, is now available for pre-order for only $6 (cheap!) if you buy it online. It'll be out on January 10, 2012 from Main Street Rag.

Praise for The Dying Horse

"Natural disasters are running wild. The world is ending. Cats are talking. In the wake of an apocalypse, a young man is on a journey, of sorts, and along the way he meets a strange cast of characters who may or may not get in his way. The line between the real and surreal is a thin one in Jason Jordan's wildly entertaining The Dying Horse. With wry humor, Jordan tells the story of a man who just wants to find his way to some kind of home."

--Roxane Gay, author of Ayiti

"When the end of the world creeps up on us, Jason Jordan's The Dying Horse will be our atlas. Showing a genius for blending humanity and WTF?, he builds an apocalyptic road trip/manhunt painted in the colors of the suburbs. In Jordan's world, cats get conversational and every rotted-out corner hides a dose of bleakness and twisted black humor. Trust me, you'll want to play a game of Who Gets the Ax? after reading this book."

--Patrick Wensink, author of Black Hole Blues and Sex Dungeon for Sale!

"The Dying Horse is the most easy-going novella about the apocalypse that I've ever read. When faced with an abandoned interstate not unlike the one in Cormac McCarthy's The Road, the narrator simply tells us 'this blows,' and keeps walking. Jason Jordan has done something incredibly tricky here; he presents a convincing timeline for how the world might end, and, thanks to his winning narrator, Erik, makes it seem funny. And, yes, talking cats certainly don't hurt."

--Kevin Wilson, author of The Family Fang and Tunneling to the Center of the Earth

What's in it? Well, you can read an excerpt from the first chapter on my author page at MSR, but here's a Wordle as well: http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/4010571/The_Dying_Horse.

Rigby Is a Ripoff

2011-08-25T23:54:00.000-04:00

I'm finally settled in Ohio. It's been a long week, a week rife with unpacking, arranging, and assembling, and makes me never want to move again. I like my apartment, though. It's not quite within walking distance to OU, but I decided to go for quality over proximity. I also like Athens, a nice small town.

Here's my desk:

click to enlarge

Notice the Safety Third Enterprises sticker on the printer.

My bookshelves:

click to enlarge

Recognize any? My chapbooks and textbooks are in boxes.

Orientation starts Monday and lasts a week, while classes begin September 6. I'm eager to get going, see what happens.

Hello, Wisconsin!

2011-08-13T00:08:00.000-04:00

Unsurprisingly, unemployment has led to more TV watching. I've been watching a lot of That '70s Show, and part of that is because it's on numerous channels, including ABC Family, The CW, MTV, and Nick at Nite. Much of the time I find the show genuinely funny with several likable characters, and I really enjoy it overall despite its many flaws--laugh track, intermittent predictable humor, and dumb moments in The Circle. Similar to a host of TV series, however, the early and middle years are better than the late ones. It was better before a different actress portrayed Laurie, before Fez bulked up, before Eric and Kelso left, before they changed the intro, before Randy entered the scene, before Donna dyed her hair blonde, etc.

A few months ago I ranked my favorite characters in The Office and South Park--those lists here and here--so I thought I'd do the same for the six core kids in That '70s Show:

1. Steven Hyde

2. Eric Forman

3. Fez

4. Donna Pinciotti

5. Michael Kelso

6. Jackie Burkhart

Still, my favorite character on the whole is this guy:

Do you like That '70s Show? If so, who's your favorite character?

How to Hate Acceptances and Love Rejections

2011-08-05T01:40:00.000-04:00

Unless you're a masochist, you love acceptances and hate rejections. Sure, it's gratifying when a story or poem is accepted for publication, but to get to that point, the piece may have been rejected numerous times, and that really sucks. I'll explain how you can reverse it, how you can learn to hate acceptances and love rejections.

After you've gotten a piece ready for publication, simultaneously submit your piece to a lot of markets--let's say a round number like 100. It can be more or fewer, though, depending on your preference. Check out Duotrope's "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," and make sure some of the markets are in "The Slothful" and "The Challenging" categories, if not both, but avoid submitting to any in "The Swift" and "The Approachable." The longer they take to respond and the more difficult to crack, the better.

Now sit back and wait for responses. Do you know what you have to do when you receive a rejection? Nothing! Do you know what you have to do when you receive an acceptance? If you're scrupulous, you have to withdraw the piece from every single market you submitted to, and if you submitted to 100, then you have to withdraw the piece from 99 others (provided none of the others responded first, etc.). This arrangement creates a lot of work on your end, and that's why you'll grow to hate acceptances and love rejections.

For the record, I don't actually do this, but I can envision it working to the extent that someone could reverse their reaction to acceptance and rejection.

J. Brooke Lays the Smackdown

2011-08-01T01:30:00.000-04:00

Earlier today I published the August 2011 issue of decomP, which is really good, I think, though all editors say that about their publications, and one thing I always do is send out a monthly e-mail when a new issue goes live. A few hours later I got an e-mail in the d inbox from a person named J. Brooke, who wrote:

You people are amazing, ego centri, talentless egoists, who think they really know what the written word is all about, yet have never aken a single risk in life to really understand what it takes to really write something of substance. PLEASE, do something, anything, take some riskes in life, instead of consuming your self in your little insestious click, complimenting yourselves as you masturbATE TOGETHER, CREATING THE DRIP, DRIP OF TRIVAL WORK YOU HAVE ELEVATEd TO SOMETHING SPECIAL, INSTEAD OF REALIZING WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS A CIRCLE JERK OF NOTHING, pathetic, that is what it really is.

That was his/her e-mail verbatim. I didn't recognize the name, but I checked our archived submissions, and it turned out that s/he submitted back in January of this year and was rejected, which makes me think s/he is just disgruntled. Whatever the case, the only thing this e-mail accomplished was entertaining me. It didn't piss me off. It didn't make me question our editorial decisions. But, if the purpose was to get his/her name mentioned, that worked. Either way, my advice to J. Brooke would be to get over it and move on. Rejection happens to us all.

Trench Warfare

2011-07-27T02:29:00.000-04:00

I first met Mel Bosworth in the trenches of World War I, where, during a German charge, he stabbed a young soldier by the name of Adolf Hitler. Bosworth fought on, yet young Hitler was merely wounded, and would eventually become one of the most infamous men in history. Now Bosworth has written a book, and it's called Freight, available for pre-order for $14.

Karen The Temp: New Story in Emprise Review

2011-07-22T00:34:00.000-04:00

I'm glad to have "Karen The Temp," a story about a sexy woman who temps at a battery factory, in the latest issue of Emprise Review. Emprise 20 also features work by Erin Fitzgerald, Aubrey Hirsch, Brett Elizabeth Jenkins, Ken Poyner, and several others. Thanks to editors Patrick McAllaster and Amber Sparks for including my piece.

In addition to Emprise 20, tonight I also read some of this, some of this, and all of this.

Hardcore Pawn vs. Pawn Stars

2011-07-20T23:13:00.000-04:00

Believe it or not, my unemployment--joyous, wonderful unemployment--has led to more TV watching. I watch the History Channel a lot. Aside from shows such as American Pickers, American Restoration, Ax Men, and How the States Got Their Shapes, my favorite is Pawn Stars, which debuted in July 2009. I discovered TruTV's competitor Hardcore Pawn soon after it debuted in August 2010. Which is better? Let's find out.

vs.

Characters/People

HP: Les is the owner of American Jewelry and Loan, and Seth and Ashley are his kids. The only one I genuinely like is Les. A self-proclaimed badass, Les adopts a take-no-shit approach that's fun to watch in action. His kids bicker so much that they are often more annoying than endearing.

PS: Gold and Silver Pawn Shop is a family-owned business, too, with Richard Harrison a.k.a. The Old Man, his son Rick Harrison, and grandson Corey Harrison a.k.a. Big Hoss at the helm, as well as Austin Russell a.k.a. Chumlee bumbling about. I'm not big on any of their personalities, though I do find some of what they say entertaining.

Edge:

Location

HP: American Jewelry and Loan is in Detroit. The weather's often drab and the building, though fairly large, isn't much to look at.

PS: Gold and Silver Pawn Shop is in Las Vegas. Not only is the pawn shop located on the strip, which provides a welcoming, exterior view, but it's also in a warm, sunny climate. GaS is smaller than AJL, but is still more inviting.

Edge:

Items

HP: Most of the time people pawn/sell either electronics or jewelry. Sometimes other items make it on the show, but the variety is lacking, I believe.

PS: Anything and everything you can think of. Besides valuable metals, GaS sees a large assortment of items from historical artifacts to all forms of memorabilia--many incredibly rare. Additionally, they also employ Rick of American Restoration, a show PS helped spawn (ha!), to restore items, and it's cool to see the before and after.

Edge:

Entertainment Value

HP: What I like most about HP, other than Les, is that there's usually at least one confrontation per episode. The arguments always begin with verbal insults and end with security escorting the people out. Jerry Springer would be proud.

PS: I've learned quite a bit from PS because Rick and co. bring in experts to evaluate items if they aren't knowledgeable enough to deal with them in house. I enjoy seeing the unique items, plus as I said earlier, the restoration projects add an element missing from HP. Nevertheless, almost nothing can compete with an old-fashioned (attempted) throwdown.

Edge:

Flaws

HP: Seth and Ashley's fighting is obnoxious, and the show is kind of a downer due to the location and clientele, who, it seems, are hurting for cash much more than the clientele of PS. Needless to say, there's always the possibility that the main characters are hamming it up for the cameras, but so does everyone, even in everyday life.

PS: Rick's smug, know-it-all attitude is aggravating. I'm sure the guy's street smart after working in the business for a long time, but the information he appears to extemporaneously rattle off must be planned. Further, Chumlee is occasionally dimwitted to the point that it seems fake.

Edge:

And so, even though both shows are worth watching, the winner is:

Free Copy of Fourteen Hills 17.2

2011-07-15T00:51:00.001-04:00

Fourteen Hills 17.2 boasts work from J. A. Tyler, Brandi Wells, and others, and I'm giving away a copy. ~~To enter this giveaway, post one of your favorite words in this blog entry by Sunday, July 17 at 11:59 p.m.~~ The winner will be chosen randomly, and will be notified in this entry and by e-mail. Best of luck to ya.

Did you know that Brandi Wells has a book coming out called Please Don't Be Upset from Tiny Hardcore Press? So did I. You can pre-order it for $9. "A Dozen Notes to Ruben," included in the collection, first appeared in an earlier incarnation of decomP.

I Got Some Paper Towels

2011-07-13T18:30:00.000-04:00

Drop of water on the floor? Better use seven.

I <3 paper towels--environment be damned--but the Pick-a-Size a.k.a. Select-a-Size paper towels are bullshit. I always end up tearing off the smallest size when I want a bigger one. A small paper towel is called a napkin.

Hate the janitor? Flush me.

One other thing that irks me is when public restrooms don't have brown paper towels. Instead they'll have those automatic dryers that usually suck. Paper towels let you dry your hands better, faster, and quieter. Of the hand dryers I've encountered, however, the best is the obnoxiously-spelled XLERATOR. Though it will dry your hands faster than a standard automatic dryer, save more money than using paper towels, and reduce waste, it'll also deafen you in the process.

Online Versus Print: You Win

2011-07-12T00:59:00.000-04:00

I'm unemployed and it's great. Friday, July 8 was my last day. The people in my department got me a Papa John's gift card and an Ohio T-shirt. One co-worker baked a bunch of cupcakes.

Anyway, a while back I was asked if I'd write about online and print publishing stories and poems. I said sure and wrote the piece, but the book never materialized, so rather than let it go to waste, I thought I'd post it here. The online/print argument is tired, of course, but I still enjoy reading and writing about it.

Online Versus Print: You Win

The long-running debate about online versus print publishing will never die, like Dick Clark, but which is better? That’s the wrong question. The right question is: To which publication should I submit this piece? Lee K. Abbott writes in his introduction to Dzanc’s Best of the Web 2009, ironically available solely in print: “The moral is...good writing is good writing, no matter where we find it.” In recent years, more and more publications are intent on utilizing the two mediums. For instance, several literary magazines, big and small, offer both Web and print content—Conjunctions, Keyhole, McSweeney’s, Monkeybicycle, [PANK], to name a mere few. While some journals don’t publish online, many do publish samples from each issue, typically available in PDF. Further, Matt Bell, in Best of the Web 2010, says, “as if nearly every print journal did not also have a website, as if every book is not also available for sale online.”

Naturally, however, Web and print have distinct, individual advantages. The former is dynamic, serving as a means of near-instantaneous communication. In example, when a story of mine is published online, I’m more likely to receive feedback than if the story were print exclusive. Due to e-mail, and social networks such as Facebook and Twitter, it’s fast, easy, and free to notify others about your recent publication. And then there are the things print can’t do—host audio and video, allow 24/7 publishing, contain virtually unlimited space, and enable instant editing. Important, too, is that it’s, again, fast and easy to find out more about a writer, and read more of their work, by clicking on a link to their Web site, usually found in their bio. I almost never access a writer’s Web page when I’m reading a print journal. Why? Aside from being lazy in this respect, it takes too much effort to put down the book, go to my computer, open a browser, and type the url.

The notion that print is permanent—or at least more permanent—still exists. Additionally, many cling to books themselves, the way they look, feel, and smell. In other words, there’s no substitute for a good book, which I agree with to an extent. Though Web publishing is rife with great design (and poor, for that matter), the print realm certainly has its share. Literary magazines like Annalemma, Camera Obscura, Canteen, McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Salt Hill, among others, remind us that books can be art too—not just white pages filled with black letters.

Consider an excerpt from a post from Brad Green’s blog Elevate the Ordinary: “say you can publish your work in a high-quality print journal or a high-quality online journal. Circulation on the print journal will peak out around 1000 copies. Online, who knows? Perhaps that online journal receives a hundred thousand page hits a month.”[1] Green addresses a comment of mine in a follow-up comment: “The problem with...print...is that readership is inherently limited by the number of copies printed. Even the smallest literary journal online could receive thousands of visitors.”[2] The point is that, on average, more people are likely to read your material online than in print. Most print journals release only a few hundred copies of each issue. Some do print in the thousands, but usually toward the low end. Black Clock, a journal “published semi-annually by the California Institute of the Arts in association with the MFA writing program,” has a total distribution of three thousand.[3] [PANK]’s print run is limited to seven hundred and fifty copies, reports Dennis Walikainen in “PANK is ‘Hip’: Says National Writers Magazine.”[4] Unlike print, Web archives are instantly accessible and never sold out. Reading online is almost always free, plus, as Brad Green states in another post, online magazines are often accessible at work.

I mention Brad Green partly because he was a former prose editor of decomP, a monthly online magazine that I edit, which publishes prose, poetry, art, and solicited book reviews. In May 2011, the site received 7,327 unique visitors, 13,105 visits, and 83,367 hits. I believe these are respectable numbers for a journal with very little funding. What’s encouraging is that our traffic increases nearly every month, drawing in more readers and writers, who, in turn, spread the word. And remember, that’s only one month. From an editor’s perspective, I think these statistics prove that not only do I reach more people than I ever could with print, but that I have the potential to reach even more as a result of indefinitely accessible archives.

When you’re considering where to submit, you probably first think of specific journals—not the medium by which they deliver their installments. That is, their reputation and the value of their content should take precedence over the online/print argument. In fact, hundreds of publications put out both Web and print issues, and this practice will likely be prevalent in the future.

Personally, I’ve found I prefer a balance concerning publication—online and print. After all, a writer will eventually have numerous pieces to submit, and while some may be more suited for the Web, especially if they incorporate mixed media, others may be best represented in print. Much of this depends on a journal’s guidelines (e.g. length, theme).

Sure, I enjoy looking at anthologies on my bookshelves, knowing my writing is within, but I also enjoy posting a link to an online story on Facebook and having someone comment on it minutes later. You will or already have many unpublished pieces, so when comparing markets, submit to the magazines you read and like, the ones you admire and wish to see your name in, no matter if it’s on a screen or on a page.

Why Try When You Can Quit?

2011-07-02T00:45:00.000-04:00

Next week is my last week of work. On Friday, July 8 at 10 p.m., I will no longer have to assemble brake hoses. Right now it doesn't seem like I'm going to quit my job, and I'm sure it won't sink in until the following Monday when I don't have to be anywhere. I won't miss the job, but I will miss several people. Still, July will usher in a lot of changes for the department, because, aside from me leaving, three people are transferring to another building and one is considering retirement. I'll enjoy waking up on Monday, July 11, checking the time, rolling over, and going back to sleep. I'm gonna take a week or two off then commence packing.

During Memorial Day weekend I got a new desk and chair for my apartment. They were gifts from my mom for my birthday and early Christmas. I got a Realspace Magellan Collection L-Shaped Desk. Color? Espresso.

My chair is a Realspace Eaton Mid-Back Bonded Leather Chair:

It'll be nice to have this stuff because I usually use whatever furniture I can find that no one's using. For example, right now I'm using a small desk I've had since I was a kid and a chair from my mom's dining room table set. In Pittsburgh I used a particle board desk my grandma gave me for free after tenants left it in her rental house. It wasn't very good, but it was free and served its purpose.

I also got a couple more OttLites, which I've written about before. I got a Wing Shade Floor Lamp,

and a Wing Shade Table Lamp:

The last two big things I gotta get are a mattress and an air conditioner. I plan to buy both in Athens so I don't have to move them from IN to OH.

The 5 Best Literary Magazine Web Sites

2011-06-24T21:42:00.000-04:00

Most of the time my first impression of a literary magazine comes from its Web site. In fact, when I check out a new lit mag via Duotrope, if I don't like their site, I don't bother visiting again. I thought I'd write about what I think are the five best and why. I'm not judging content--just look. Here they are in alphabetical order:

Normally I don't go for all white sites, but what I like about Canteen is their logo and buttons. The shade of blue they used is beautiful, and the site avoids clutter and is easily navigable. Arguably the most important page--the issues page--has big pictures of their covers as well as details about each to the immediate left. If you haven't read the magazine, I highly suggest it. Aside from good writing, the mag is one of the better looking journals.

Fuzzco did an excellent job on the Dark Sky Magazine site. I love it. I enjoy the bright colors--red, blue, and yellow--and that each column contains the corresponding colors. I like order, so the design satisfies me in that respect. Also, DS keeps it simple, and I appreciate that, because if I feel overwhelmed with the amount of options a site offers, I usually click out of it as soon as I can. When you hover your cursor over a heading such as Books, it fades a little, while hovering over, say, a blog post title blackens it--both are sensible effects.

Hobart's had the same design for a few years now, but I believe the if-it-ain't-broke adage applies here. The frontpage is cool because when you hover over the various vehicles they light up and the text beneath them turns yellow. As for the Web issues site, I like the off-color white they use as well as the surrounding blue, which, to me, looks threaded. I dig their fonts and the accompanying photos. And again, a trend with the sites I like--a simple interface with only a few links.

Of these sites, [out of nothing] capitalizes on the medium the most. Their homepage may not be much to look at, but their issues certainly are. Each is a custom design. My favorite is Issue #4, which features several gifs that change slots every time you leave the page. After clicking on a box, hover over the contributor's name and/or the title of their piece to produce various results.

Designed by Jordan Rome, the site of Storyscape is nice for several reasons. First, I like how the left side of the page is static and the right is dynamic. In other words, no matter what you click, the left, top, and bottom of the homepage always stay the same. Second, everything's easy to read. Third, I also like that they use "Truth," "Untruth," and "We Don't Know and They Won't Tell Us" to differentiate between material. Thankfully, however, they didn't use the synonym or substitution method of labeling for the links at the top.

Free Copy of Dark Sky Magazine 1

2011-06-17T18:29:00.001-04:00

Dark Sky Magazine, quickly becoming one of my favorite magazines slash presses, recently began accepting pre-orders for their second print issue. Within, work from Lindsay Hunter, Robert Lopez, Corey Mesler, Matthew Savoca, Justin Sirois, and others. You can temporarily read the Summer 2011 issue online, so check that out before it's gone.

To drum up interest for Dark Sky, I'm giving away a duplicate I have of their debut print issue Fall/Winter 2010, which contains writing from R. A. Allen, Rusty Barnes, Mel Bosworth, Gabe Durham, Molly Gaudry, Jac Jemc, and others. ~~To enter this giveaway, post something in this blog entry by Sunday, June 19 at 11:59 p.m.~~ The winner will be chosen randomly, and will be notified in this entry and by e-mail. Good luck!

Uncanny

2011-06-10T21:07:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I'll be seeing X-Men: First Class, and I'm really looking forward to it. I never got into the comic books, but I've enjoyed the characters in their film, TV, and video game offshoots. One of my earliest memories of the X-Men is sinking a ton of quarters into this game at a local mall:

The game is a side-scrolling beat 'em up a la Battletoads, Double Dragon, Final Fight, and about a million others. A few years later, when the mall decided to shut down the arcade, they put a $500 price tag on it. Me, my brother, and my four cousins tried to get our grandma to buy it for us for Christmas that year. There were six of us, and with six possible players, the arrangement worked out perfectly. Unfortunately she didn't go for the idea, and eventually, predictably, the game soon disappeared. And maybe the worst part is that they never ported the game to consoles, so the arcade was the only place to play it. Still, I'm not sure a port would've done justice to the experience.

I was also a big fan of X-Men: The Animated Series. I've posted the intro before, but it's so good (both the animation and song) that it's worth posting again:

And that brings me to the recent trilogy. I enjoyed the movies, though the third, which had a different director, was a letdown. I dug the cast, special effects, and story. Particularly cool is Nightcrawler's White House scene. The trilogy didn't impress me like Nolan's Batman movies did, but I consider them all solid. I had two issues with them, however, and again, I'm not familiar with the comics so I'm not knowledgeable of those story lines, but I didn't like how Gambit wasn't in them and Beast makes too late of an appearance. I never saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine, because I didn't think it looked that good, and apparently it's not.

Besides X-Men: First Class, I also anticipate seeing Green Lantern and Captain America: The First Avenger this summer. But Hollywood, can we get a superhero movie without a love story? Please?

Free Copy of Monkeybicycle 6

2011-06-03T02:20:00.002-04:00

Available for twelve bucks, Monkeybicycle 8 features new writing from Aaron Burch, E. Michael Desilets, Ori Fienberg, Jesus Angel Garcia, Scott Geiger, Michael Hickins, Steve Himmer, Blake Kimzey, Ben Loory, Annam Manthiram, Dustin Luke Nelson, Ben Nickol, Vincent Scarpa, Curtis Smith, among others.

To celebrate, I'm giving away Monkeybicycle 6. Besides my story "Shuttle Cock," the sixth issue has work from Matt Bell, Kim Chinquee, Corey Mesler, Brandi Wells, et al. ~~To enter this giveaway, post something in this blog entry by Monday, June 6 at 6 a.m.~~ The winner will be chosen randomly, and will be notified in this entry and by e-mail.

Jasons

2011-05-28T02:02:00.000-04:00

"That's why I hate the name Jason," a co-worker, named Jason, told me a few months ago. "There are too many fuckin Jasons." I've always liked my name and felt it suited me. That got me thinking, again, about other people who share it.

Jasons I Like

Jason Lee actually shares my first and middle name. I'm not quite sure why I like Jason Lee. I enjoyed his performances in Mallrats, Chasing Amy, and Dreamcatcher--the only movies he's done that I've seen--and though I've only watched a few minutes of My Name Is Earl, I liked what I saw. I guess he's just an endearing guy, and I like him best with the mustache.

I loved Jason Schwartzman in Rushmore, and I thought he was hilarious as Cool Ethan in Slackers. I haven't seen him in anything since, but those two performances were enough to cement him as a Jason I like.

I first saw Jason Segel in Freaks and Geeks. Unfortunately the series didn't last very long. I also liked Jason in Slackers and especially in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

I've never been a fan of horror movies, but I do like Jason Voorhees. Yeah, he's a fictional character (or is he?), and I've always wanted to be big and tall, so I like that about him, but the coolest part is that he wears a goalie mask and wields a machete. Who wouldn't want to do that on a daily basis?

Jasons I Dislike

I don't like Seinfeld, which makes it easy for me to dislike Jason Alexander. In fact, I haven't seen him in anything I find above average.

I haven't seen Jason Bateman's arguable pinnacle Arrested Development, but I didn't like him in Dodgeball (the movie's hysterical, however) and I thought him merely all right in Hancock, so there's not much of a reason for me to like him. Ever since I saw him on the cover of Teen Wolf Too--the original being a masterpiece with an irreplaceable star in Michael J. Fox--I've never liked the guy.

I don't like Jason Biggs because I don't like the characters he plays. That's not his fault, necessarily, but I don't think any of his roles have demanded much in the way of acting chops. American Pie sucked. Saving Silverman sucked. His comedies just aren't that funny.

I never liked Beverly Hills, 90210--imagine that--and I haven't seen Jason Priestley in much else, so to the dislike section he goes. He'll cry himself to sleep tonight, I bet.

Jason Statham: the poor man's Bruce Willis. I liked Snatch, but trailers for his Transporter trilogy and Crank duology convinced me to steer clear. There's nothing else worthwhile in his filmography either, and there are plenty of better action heroes out there.

Jasons I'm Indifferent About

The Jasons I'm indifferent about are athletes--Jason Giambi, Jason Kidd, Jason Richardson, and others. I'm not heavily invested in sports like I was when I was a kid, so these Jasons don't invoke any emotions from me.

Brimstone Landscapes

2011-05-21T01:10:00.000-04:00

I went to Athens, Ohio, last week. My mom and I drove up on Thursday and checked into a Hampton Inn in the late afternoon. We ate dinner at Abrio's Brick Oven--down the street from our hotel--and it was good. Half of their electric went out while we were eating, which was weird.

I had the manicotti.

The next morning we checked out of our hotel and headed to look at the OU campus, as well as several apartments. OU is quite old. In fact, it was founded only a year after Ohio became a state in 1803.

I didn't take any of those pictures, but I hope to buy a digital camera soon so I can. Anyhow, the OU campus is beautiful, and I think I'll like going there. At one of the shops, I bought an OU lanyard, mouse pad, and T-shirt. Afterward, we looked at an apartment near campus, but not within walking distance. Well, everything's within walking distance, I guess, but I consider walking distance under thirty minutes.

We ate lunch at the Court Street Diner in downtown Athens.

I had the garden burger with fries.

We looked at some more apartments after lunch. The ones close to campus were all really small and depressing. So, I applied to live at the complex we viewed earlier in the day. We drove home after taking care of that.

It seemed to me that you can live close to campus and sacrifice niceness, or you can live far from campus, relatively, and have a nice place. I opted for the latter. Within the past week I learned that my application was approved, so I sent in the security deposit. They'll be mailing me the lease soon.

I consider myself a city person, especially after enjoying living in Pittsburgh for two years, but I think I'll like Athens.

Quota: New Story in BOMB Magazine

2011-05-07T02:39:00.001-04:00

I have a new story called "Quota" in BOMB, on the BOMBlog specifically as part of their Word Choice series. Amy Casey's Night Factory (Approach) is an excellent complement. The flash concerns assembling brake hoses--my job for the past 9.5 months. I'm working on another story involving brake hoses right now. That may be the last as my time at my current job is coming to an end. Thanks to Peter Moysaenko for the invite. Thank you for reading and linking.

A while back I decided to use every letter of the alphabet in titling my work. "Quota" takes care of the letter q. I've yet to use j, y, and z.

I pre-ordered John Minichillo's The Snow Whale from Atticus Books. It's coming out on July 30. Recently Dan Cafaro, in writing about the forthcoming Atticus Review, named decomP one of the "terrifically influential, must-visit, literary sites and established publications." We're in good company. And thanks, Dan. We try.

I spent the last half of today by the animal hospital where my brother's dog Calvin was being operated on. Apparently he'd eaten a lot of a rug and a pebble, which clogged his intestines, preventing him from passing anything. And despite incessant vomiting, he couldn't dislodge any of that stuff, so they surgically removed it. We got to see him around midnight, and you could tell he was tired and in pain. Seeing him like that made me realize how much I care about him. I'm hoping he has a quick recovery and will soon return to his normal, energetic self.

I'm going to Ohio next Thursday and Friday to look at apartments and check out the OU campus. I'm looking forward to the trip, but I'm more eager to be off work for four days in a row.

My mom said I'm in the crazy stage, but I think I'm in between wise and crazy:

The Streets Are Extended Gutters

2011-04-29T22:17:00.000-04:00

More pre-orders, in no particular order.

Barrelhouse #9

I really like Barrelhouse. They revamped their site recently, and their new logo reminds me of the E! logo:

Elizabeth J. Colen, John Jodzio, Tim Jones-Yelvington, Sean Lovelace, and Mary Miller - They Could No Longer Contain Themselves: A Collection of Five Flash Chapbooks

Adam Robinson - Best of the Web 2011

Blake Butler and Lily Hoang - 30 Under 30: An Anthology of Innovative Fiction by Younger Writers

David Thorne - The Internet Is a Playground: Irreverent Correspondences of an Evil Online Genius

David Thorne is the guy behind 27b/6. Some of it's like E-mails from an Asshole. My favorites, thus far, are this, this, this, and this.

Laura Ellen Scott - Death Wishing

The Spring 2011 issue of LITnIMAGE rocks. New stories from Lydia Copeland, Ryan Dilbert, Peter Kispert, Adam Moorad, Bonnie ZoBell, others. I think my favorite is "Collection Day" by Andrew O. Dugas. The premise is familiar, but the ending is just great. (Spoiler alert.) What I thought at first was that the narrator was simply going to steal Coach Clausen's DiMaggio baseball. Then it becomes apparent that he's going to throw it through Lisa Delasario's window. It's fun to imagine the surprise and utter confusion on Coach Clausen's part that will result from this action, which increases the tension quite a bit. This story is a good example of how not fully resolving a plot can work in the writer's favor, because I believe imagining the post-throw scenario is actually better than reading it.

I've been writing some, but not enough. Isn't it always not enough? I've written story about a guy who has a man from the IRS follow him around 24/7, like all Americans in this story, to assess what he should be taxed on and to ensure he pays his taxes; a story about a guy who's in a long line at a record store that has no public restrooms and has to take a big shit, the kind of shit that will force itself out no matter what the shitter does to try to prevent it; a story about two brothers who live in what used to be the United States, but is now divided into territories based on NFL team loyalties; and a story about a guy whose best friends are not just white supremacists, but are straight, male white supremacists.

Other than that, I'm working. I can't wait to quit my job, though. As I've said before, I shouldn't quit until sometime in July. I probably won't as being unemployed gets boring pretty fast. I've got a lot to do--I'll probably supplement my income by selling some rare stuff on eBay--but there's nothing that can't wait until July, aside from getting an apartment.

The subject of this entry and previous entries dating back to March 12 are lines from Watchmen. Who watches the Watchmen?

I Have Seen Its True Face

2011-04-19T01:09:00.000-04:00

I do all my shopping at the nearest Meijer, because I like their selection and they're open twenty-four hours. Usually I go after I get off work at 2 a.m. Very few people shop in the early morning, so you don't have to wade through a crowd, deal with loud kids running around, etc. Anyhow, a few weeks ago I noticed that they had no Diet Coke Plus and they'd removed the little plastic card from the shelf--a foreboding development. Next time I went, I checked for DCP again, and sure enough, there was none.

So, I started buying it at the nearest Kroger. A couple weeks later, however, they pulled the same move. I panicked, thinking it'd been discontinued. I e-mailed Diet Coke about it--yes, Diet Coke has its own site--and they responded a few days later. They told me to check the other Krogers in town. I did, but they don't carry DCP either. I e-mailed DC again and explained that I live close to Louisville, and if any stores in the area carry DCP, they'll most likely be in Louisville. They replied with three Krogers. I called them--two of them said they don't carry it, but one said they did. I immediately drove the thirty minutes to that Kroger. Thankfully they had three twelve-packs, so I bought them all. Keep in mind that by the time I located these, I'd been without my beloved DCP for several days, and as a result, I was depressed and irritable. I'm rationing these thirty-six cans because my fear is that the Kroger at which I found them will cease to carry them in the near future. I hope not, of course, but when a brand you like is (seemingly) unpopular, you can't expect it to last.

DCP is the only drink/food brand that I'm loyal to and don't want to live without. Though there are many, many types of food and drink that I couldn't live without--pizza, chocolate, milk, to name a few--I'm not overly picky about the brand. Yeah, I have my favorites, but in the end, I could go with many of them and be relatively satisfied. That's not really the case with soft drinks. I gotta have my Diet Coke Plus. What drinks or food can't you live without?

This City Is Afraid of Me

2011-04-10T21:49:00.000-04:00

I'm quick to buy books online. PayPal has only made that worse. With a few clicks and keystrokes, you can buy a book very fast. I bought these two recently:

Sarah Rose Etter - Tongue Party

Sara Levine - Short Dark Oracles

Etter's TP is the winner of the 2010 Caketrain Chapbook Competition, and Levine's SDO is the runner-up. The 2008 fiction selections--Tina May Hall's All the Day's Sad Stories and Matt Bell's The Collectors--are excellent, so I'm expecting these will be too. And that brings me to my point: Caketrain's doing a lot right. Though I don't care for their journal, having read issues four and five, their single-author releases are always enticing. Why? They each feature gorgeous art, are beyond reasonably priced, and Caketrain's nice-looking site contains previews and information for every book. You can pick up both for $12, which includes shipping.

So, Flatmancrooked is calling it quits. I can't say I'm disappointed, though I did enjoy some of the work they published online. It seems they tried to do too much too soon, but I could be wrong. I also always thought their site was kind of scatterbrained, offering too many options, which often results in me wanting to navigate away from the page. I was glad to see them publish Shya Scanlon's Forecast, but I haven't bought it because I haven't seen it listed anywhere for less than $18. I dislike paying more than $15 (shipping included) for a book, unless I feel the price is warranted--it's a hardback edition, it's very long, or it has a full-color interior.

I think it's tough to sustain a project like FMC without receiving outside funding. You can sink a lot of money into it without making much profit, if any. Longevity can be challenging for journals and publishing houses that rely on their own funds to subsist. I'm not the type to bemoan the passing of a journal unless I genuinely like it and read it frequently. There are plenty of publications out there, and I believe there always will be.

New issue round-up: Corium: Rusty Barnes, Gay Degani, Faith Gardner, Tina May Hall, Andrea Kneeland, Robert Lopez, Sean Lovelace, Sabrina Stoessinger, Donna D. Vitucci | Dark Sky: Erin Fitzgerald, Andrea Kneeland | jmww: Faith Gardner, John Minichillo | > kill author: Lisa Marie Basile, Erin Fitzgerald, Hazel Foster, Heather Fowler, Nathan Good, Thomas Patrick Levy, Parker Tettleton, James Valvis, Kate Wyer | SmokeLong: Timothy Gager, Tracy Gonzalez, Casey Hannan, Ethel Rohan, Angi Becker Stevens

Tire Tread on Burst Stomach

2011-04-02T00:24:00.000-04:00

Since getting into OU, life's been uneventful. I'm working fifty-hour weeks at my job, which I've held for eight months. I wish I could quit now, but I shouldn't. I should hold out until sometime in July. I've been looking online for apartments, but haven't found anything worthwhile yet. Prior to the move, I want to get a new mattress, air conditioner, and digital camera.

Scott McClanahan - Stories V!

Based on Stories and Stories II, Stories V! should be a great read. Help Scott buy a glass eye:

Two other books I'm psyched about:

Patrick Wensink - Black Hole Blues
Lazy Fascist Press, May 2011

Mickey Hess - The Nostalgia Echo
C&R Press, June 2011

Sonora Review interviewed me about decomP. The pictures aren't showing up, but that's OK.

I've found my future wife:

Listen:

Dog Carcass in Alley This Morning

2011-03-12T02:08:00.000-05:00

The good news is that I'm getting a $2,000 tax refund. The bad news is that I owe my parents about $1,000 for the money they loaned me while I was unemployed. Still, I figured I'd treat myself to a few books with the difference (like I need an excuse). Here's what I (pre)ordered:

Blake Butler - There Is No Year

Steve Himmer - The Bee-Loud Glade

Ben Loory - Stories for Nighttime and Some for the Day

Jim Shepard - You Think That's Bad

Kevin Wilson - The Family Fang

Q: Which literary journals do you buy every issue of?

A: A cappella Zoo, Barrelhouse, Electric Literature, Hobart, Keyhole, Monkeybicycle, PANK, Pear Noir!, Pindeldyboz (R.I.P.); more than I thought.

I haven't submitted any stories, aside from solicitations, in 186 days. I've been saving everything I've written since in case I got into a PhD program, and after waiting so long for each of these markets to respond, I want to stick it out. Case in point: 186-day rejection from Black Warrior Review today. Currently I have stories out for 526, 329, 291, 222, and 186 days, respectively. They're older stories that I don't wanna work on anymore, because after extensive revisions, I'm happy with them and would like to see them published.

Think I'll build this:

Nah, but if you want to see more: here.

This Fall I'm Gonna Take My Talents to Southeast Ohio

2011-03-04T04:22:00.000-05:00

This past Tuesday afternoon, a few minutes before I was gonna leave for work, I received a call. My phone's screen read "Unavailable," so I ignored it, thinking the call was from a telemarketer or a prank caller. The person left a voice mail, however, and it turns out the call was from Dinty W. Moore, Director of Creative Writing at Ohio University, informing me that I'd been accepted to their PhD program with full funding. Surprisingly there was only one fiction spot available. Needless to say, I immediately called him back and told him I was interested. I'm grateful for the opportunity, and though there's a lot of work to be done, I'm excited to get started. My thanks goes out to Roxane Gay, Mickey Hess, Aubrey Hirsch, and Marc Nieson for their help with my application, whether it was critiquing my Statement of Purpose or writing a recommendation letter, if not both. To those who have applied for a BA, MFA, or PhD and didn't get in: keep trying. I didn't get in last year, but I did this year. Persistence pays.

Check out Ohio's sweet, lovable mascot:

Considering Chatham's mascot is a cougar, and Ohio's mascot is a bobcat, it appears I'm meant to attend schools that share my affinity for felines.

I bought more books recently because I have an itchy clicker finger and PayPal makes it too easy to spend money online. But hey, books are an excusable expense, right?

A cappella Zoo 6

Micah Dean Hicks, Rose Hunter, J. A. Tyler, et al.

Hobart 12

Roxane Gay, Aubrey Hirsch, Dylan Nice, et al.

kickstarT decomP onE

2011-02-27T22:40:00.000-05:00

The March 2011 issue of decomP is now online, featuring new work from Adam Day, Casey Hannan, Micah Dean Hicks, Russell Jaffe, Len Kuntz, John McKernan, Misti Rainwater-Lites, S. Craig Renfroe, Jr., Stephanie Smith, Chris Taylor, Jessica Temple, Jari Thymian, Foster Trecost, Dan Walsh, and Joshua Young, along with reviews of books by Eric Beeny and D. Harlan Wilson. I usually refrain from pimping new issues on my blog because I feel I do enough promotion via Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, etc., but I think it's worth mentioning that we started a Kickstarter campaign to raise $2,500 in ninety days to publish decomP onE, our print debut. Here's an awesome video Jack Varnell made:

Please back this project. A paperback copy of decomP onE is only $12 (including shipping). Feel free to link to the decomP Kickstarter site, as well as embed the video and share the project on all the social networks. Thank you. Submission details will be announced if/when funding is secured.

Spectrophobia

2011-02-26T01:09:00.001-05:00

The fallout from last week's post wasn't entirely unexpected. I thought it'd get a few people riled up, but not as many as it did. John Madera wrote about it on Big Other in a post called "Internet Graffiti and Its Discontents." M. Bartley Seigel wrote about it on the [PANK] blog in a post called "If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say...." Brian Carr wrote about it on the Dark Sky blog in a post called "You're Only Allowed to Dislike Something If You Spend a Lot of Time Explaining Why You Dislike It." And a few writers on Blogger and Facebook referenced and debated it--Meg Pokrass's status update got 112 comments. My favorite of those comments comes from David James, who said: "Congratulations Jason! You made my blog list: '5 Overweighted Bloggers.'" Clever! I say you try staying thin, David James, when they sell a 30 oz. party size bag of these:

There's a real advantage to this party bag, because it stands on its own so you can look at the M&M's from above. I like to pick out the biggest ones--those with the most chocolate coating the pretzel. The smallest ones are good, too. Those are the select few that don't have pretzel in them, due to error, and are pure chocolate.

Speaking of good things, Issue 11 of > kill author is out.

I particularly enjoyed Greg Dybec's "The Comedy of Shattering Birds," Jonathan Callahan's "The Great Challenges the Good to a Duel: Pistols, Dawn," and Richard Chiem's "The Same Thing We Do Every Night Pinky." Many d contributors are also present: Howie Good, Rose Hunter, Gary Moshimer, and xTx.

Books I (pre-)ordered recently:

Cracked.com - You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News

T. J. Forrester - Miracles, Inc.

Monkeybicycle 8

Ethel Rohan - Hard to Say

Ben Tanzer - You Can Make Him Like You

Justin Taylor - The Gospel of Anarchy

According to Google Chrome, my default browser, the eight sites I visit the most are: MetalReview.com, Gmail, Goodreads, TheChive.com, Submishmash, Facebook, Break.com, and Twitter.

5 Overrated Writers

2011-02-19T01:53:00.000-05:00

In August 2010, Anis Shivani published an article called "The 15 Most Overrated Contemporary American Writers" at The Huffington Post. I've been thinking about it ever since. Specifically, which writers would be on my list of the overrated? Well, I feel like fifteen is too many, so I chose five. To be a writer eligible for inclusion, he or she must have published at least one book, and I have to have read at least one of them. So here are my five in alphabetical order:

Lydia Davis

Book I Read: Varieties of Disturbance (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2007)

I don't remember much of this book--thank God--but I remember enough to know that I hated it. Most of the stories were boring, and how this collection was a National Book Award Finalist baffles me.

Brian Evenson

Books I Read: The Wavering Knife (Fiction Collective 2, 2004), Fugue State (Coffee House Press, 2009)

Here's what I said about The Wavering Knife on Goodreads: "I was looking forward to my first Evenson book since he receives so much acclaim, but The Wavering Knife didn't do it for me. While the ideas behind the stories are fascinating, I didn't care for hardly any of the characters besides those in 'Promisekeepers,' 'Barcode Jesus,' and 'The Prophets.' In fact, those are the only stories that I can say I wholeheartedly enjoyed. Several I outright hated--'The Ex-Father,' 'The Intricacies of Post-Shooting Etiquette,' 'Moran's Mexico,' 'House Rules,' etc.--because the characters are such pricks to one another. In the end, I was thoroughly disappointed." I had similar complaints about Fugue State.

Michael Kimball

Book I Read: Dear Everybody (Alma Books, 2010)

Kimball's obnoxious, never-ending series Michael Kimball Writes Your Life Story (on a Postcard) aside, his latest novel Dear Everybody is the story of Jonathon Bender, a character you won't give a shit about. Plus, you learn early on when, where, and how he commits suicide, which removes all tension from the book, leaving you little motivation to continue reading.

Sam Lipsyte

Book I Read: Home Land (Picador, 2004)

Most of the humor in Home Land felt forced, and the narrator speaks in a way that sounds more like the author than the character. Lipsyte has used more words writing blurbs than books, but maybe that's a good thing. After reading Home Land, I'm inclined to agree.

Gary Lutz

Book I Read: Stories in the Worst Way (3rd Bed Books, 2002)

It's been a long time since I read Stories..., but I do remember hating it. Enough said.

Which writers do you think are overrated? Why?

Ask Me a Question

2011-02-09T03:50:00.000-05:00

Please ask me a question about anything and I'll answer it honestly. If I feel I can't answer it, for whatever reason, I'll write that. Thank you.

City of Toothpicks

2011-02-04T15:17:00.000-05:00

I'm fond of people building cities out of items. I posted about staples last year, and now I've found Stan Munro's Toothpick City:

Also, Steven J. Backman makes toothpick sculptures. Here's the Golden Gate for you because I dig bridges:

War Never Solved Anything*

2011-01-30T03:30:00.000-05:00

I've been a fan of South Park ever since it first aired in '97. As a freshman in high school, I think I enjoyed it mainly for how off-color it was. Now I primarily enjoy it for the satire and parody. I took a break from the show for a long time, but I eventually got into it again several years ago. Every year I buy my brother the latest season for either his birthday or Christmas. My five favorite characters in order:

1. Eric Cartman

2. Randy Marsh

3. Stan Marsh

4. Leopold "Butters" Stotch

5. Jimmy Valmer

I've also been watching Ax Men. This is one of those shows where I can see the people hamming it up for the cameras, but I hope not too much because I want to believe they're genuine. In any case, this is one of the few reality shows that I consider good. I wish they would've went with an X-Men homage and called the show Uncanny Ax-Men, but I digress.

Anyhow, I particularly enjoy the parts that feature S&S Aqua Logging, Rygaard, and Swamp Man. S&S and Rygaard each have a father/son team, and they argue constantly. Case in point, Jimmy and James from S&S:

It's sad, really, but also hilarious.

Apparently January is TV month here on my blog, and this gets me thinking about a show I miss: Wonder Showzen. This series masqueraded as a kids show, but contained adult content. Sadly it was canceled after only two seasons. The show was hit or miss, but when they were on, they were really on:

* And war never solved no problems. Except for World War Two, the Civil War, the Revolutionary War, and the War of 1812.

Nice to Meet Me

2011-01-15T02:15:00.000-05:00

I love The Office. I bought my brother season six on Blu-ray for Christmas, and since then, we've been watching episodes every Saturday night. What's impressive about this season is that it could be the best yet, and that's saying something because every season is good, if not great. Below is how I rank my top five characters, starting with my favorite:

1. Dwight Schrute

2. Jim Halpert

3. Michael Scott

4. Andy Bernard

5. Creed Bratton

And below is my favorite scene from this season. You have to know what's going on to understand it, and if you do, you know why it's hilarious.

* * *

'Tis the season for pre-orders, and I've been pre-ordering a lot:

Ryan Call - The Weather Stations (Caketrain)

Barry Graham - Nothing or Next to Nothing (Main Street Rag)

William Walsh - Ampersand, Mass. (Keyhole)

xTx - Normally Special (Tiny Hardcore)

Electric Literature No. 5

* * *

I have a new story called "How I Raped Cancer" in Wrong Tree Review 2. There's also work from Ryan W. Bradley, Andrew Bowen, Len Kuntz, Adam Moorad, Robert Hinderliter, Greg Gerke, Michelle Reale, Meg Pokrass, and others. Thanks to editors Sheldon Lee Compton and Jarrid Deaton for the inclusion!

* * *

Phuk yes:

Justin Hamm & Peter Richter on Full House

2011-01-08T01:12:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, after I got my current job, I discovered that ABC Family was airing an hour of Full House reruns at 2 p.m. EST every weekday. I leave for work at 3 p.m., so nearly every day I watch two episodes of FH before heading out. Why? That's a good question I can't answer. Perhaps it's nostalgia. I started watching it when I was a kid, and I was twelve when the series ended in 1995. I'd consider FH a "good bad" TV show. In other words, I acknowledge that it's not good TV--unlike, say, The Office, The Shield, etc.--yet I still enjoy watching it. This habit got me thinking about other writers. Specifically, do other writers watch this show? If so, why? I asked Justin Hamm, author of Illinois, My Apologies, and Peter Richter, founder of The Broad Set Writing Collective, to explain their professed fondness for this hokey sitcom.

Jason Jordan: What do you think drew you to the show? Do you watch the reruns?

Justin Hamm: Like Jason, I started watching the show as a kid. I was drawn to it, I think, because of its moral security and because of the reliability of its adults. Everyone was good and caring and loving at the core. I came from a different kind of family--not that there wasn't love; but there was substance-abuse and anger and violence at times--and I think at some level Full House attracted me because it seemed like such a stable, predictable family environment--even if it was a nontraditional one. You knew D. J. and Stephanie and Michelle were going to be taken care of, and for an hour a night, I could pretend to be a part of that, too.

Peter Richter: I used to watch Full House as part of the T.G.I.F. line up. Fridays meant pizza, staying up a little later and life lessons sectioned off by commercial breaks.

I think I watched Full House because it offered life lessons that I could relate to, before I realized I liked things I could relate to. Like the episode Michelle runs away and goes to Teddy's house. Did that, but with Jeff's house. Or when the older sister sees Steve everywhere at Disney but it's really Prince Charming. Did that with my 5th grade crush. It also had these three male characters who were, in a strange way, role models. (I could digress here--but won't).

As an adult, I do not watch Full House, but I still buy "Uncle Jesse" hair gel.

JJ: Ah yes, T.G.I.F. I watched that nearly every week when I was young. I'm still not sure quite why I did watch Full House--same goes for shows like Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets World.

Who's your favorite FH character? Mine is Jesse, overall. I guess I like the faux-cool he brings to the show a la Fonzie from Happy Days. Who's your least favorite? Mine's Kimmy Gibbler. She got on my nerves.

JH: My favorite character would have to be Danny. Here was a guy who was trying his ass off to raise his family the right way in the face of a tragedy (losing his wife). A lot of people harbor a secret hatred for wholesome people. I don't get that. I admire characters who uphold their principles.

And me--I loved Gibbler. For some reason I've always rooted for the character that gets on everybody else's nerves.

PR: My favorite character and least favorite are the same.

As a white, suburban boy--who wouldn't be want to grow to be Steve? He's got the letterman jacket, sharp jaw line, can eat whatever he wants, blissfully ignorant, handsome, girlfriend...the stereotypical "all-American male."

As I got older he became less interesting. I wasn't a stereotype in the way that he was. His jokes began to be recycled and then he was gone.

Also, Gibbler was annoying. Overalls? Really?

JJ: Who's hotter (present day, of course): Lori Loughlin (Becky), Candace Cameron Bure (D. J.), Jodie Sweetin (Stephanie), or Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (Michelle)? My vote goes to Lori, but then again, I do prefer brunettes.

JH: Definitely Lori Loughlin. Candace Cameron loses out just because she's related to Kirk Cameron and he does the Left Behind series. And the Olsen twins gross me out.

PR: Lori. She's got the MILF angle to work from and that's all I need.

Originally from the flatlands of Central Illinois, Justin Hamm now lives near Mark Twain Territory in Missouri. He is the author of the chapbook Illinois, My Apologies (RockSaw Press, 2011). His work has appeared, or is forthcoming, in Nimrod International Journal, The New York Quarterly, Cream City Review, Spoon River Poetry Review, decomP, and a host of other publications. Recent work has also been featured on the Indiefeed: Performance Poetry channel and nominated for the Best of the Net anthology and the Pushcart Prize. Justin earned his MFA from Southern Illinois University Carbondale in 2005. His most recent project is a free course for creative writers living in and around the small town of Mexico, Missouri.

Peter Richter is the founder and editor of The Broad Set Writing Collective. His poetry can be found in The Incongruous Quarterly, > kill author, decomP, THE2NDHAND & other great publications. He's paying twice for his college loans; once for the loan and once again for the phone bill as he waits on hold to pay up.

Best Books of 2010

2011-01-02T16:57:00.000-05:00

Another year's gone by and I didn't keep track of how many books I read. Though I know I read quite a few, it never seems like enough because there are already so many books out there and so many forthcoming. Still, I've been really diligent about keeping my Goodreads up to date, and while they don't quite list every single release from every single author or publication, they're good about listing most stuff. My 2009 list is here and my 2008 list is here. For 2010's, read on:

Best Novel of 2010

Brady Udall - The Lonely Polygamist - W. W. Norton & Co.

Unlike the previous two years, I didn't read a novel released in 2010 that truly wowed me. But, I did enjoy Brady Udall's The Lonely Polygamist. Many of the characters, if not likable, are still entertaining, and there are several plot developments that keep the 600+ page book captivating. Interestingly, Adam Novy's The Avian Gospels would've taken this honor had its ending not been so disappointing.

Honorable Mention: Adam Novy's The Avian Gospels (Short Flight / Long Drive Books)

Best Short Story Collection of 2010

Patrick Somerville - The Universe in Miniature in Miniature - featherproof books

I liked Patrick Somerville's debut collection Trouble, but The Universe in Miniature in Miniature is exceptional. Yes, there are a couple stories that don't resonate as much as the others, but overall this book is rock-solid, filled with lively characters, intriguing plots, and idiosyncratic writing. Additionally, featherproof, noteworthy for their design work, succeed yet again in making TUiMiM a piece of art and not just a vehicle by which to deliver words (though there's certainly nothing wrong with the latter). I couldn't bring myself to cut up the book to create a miniature universe, but I do relish the idea of being able to do so if I ever want to.

Honorable Mentions: John Jodzio's If You Lived Here You'd Already Be Home (Replacement Press), Ethel Rohan's Cut Through the Bone (Dark Sky Books)

Best Chapbook of 2010

William Walsh - Pathologies - Keyhole Press

William Walsh's Pathologies contains inventive and often playful fictions. I very much enjoyed his novel Without Wax, and this chapbook only whets my appetite for more work from Walsh. As such, I'm eager to get my hands on Ampersand, Mass., available on February 1, 2011 from Keyhole.

Honorable Mentions: Matt DeBenedictis's I Am a Cloud (Safety Third Enterprises), Spencer Dew's Mont-Saint-Michel and Chartres (Another New Calligraphy), Tim Hall's One Damn Thing After Another (OW Press)

Best Literary Magazine of 2010

PANK Magazine - M. Bartley Seigel & Roxane Gay, Editors

Needless to say, or write, as the case may be, there are great literary magazines that publish solely online, solely in print, and both online and in print. PANK's online issues have been excellent this past year--especially the July issue--and they also released 4, which features great design and good work. And PANK is one of the only journals that realizes that readers don't wanna have to flip to the back of the book and leaf through a list of contributors to find the bio of the author whose piece they just finished reading. With new monthly issues, the impending PANK 5, forthcoming releases from their Little Books division, and an always entertaining, fascinating blog, 2011 should be a healthy year for this publication.

Honorable Mentions: Hobart, > kill author

I hope to read a lot in 2011, and come this time next year, we'll see what I liked most.

Best Albums of 2010

2011-01-01T17:03:00.000-05:00

According to the Word .doc I keep for albums, I listened to only twenty albums released in 2010. Every year my list gets smaller. I think this happens for three reasons: 1. I don't have a lot of money, 2. I don't download illegally, and 3. I've become more selective about what I actually purchase. I'm fine with this, though, as I do prefer quality to quantity.

Best Albums of 2010

1. Deathspell Omega - Paracletus - Season of Mist

Ever since I first heard Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice, I've been hooked on these vicious French black metallers. Follow-ups such as Kénôse and Fas - Ite, Maledicti, in Ignem Aeternum saw them progress in every facet. And now, their 2010 effort Paracletus draws from previous incarnations, offering BM that is best characterized by words beginning with the letter "c": cold, clinical, calculated, complex. I can understand how some criticize the band for being too convoluted for their own good, but I enjoy all that DsO bring to the table. For the best results, check out "Abscission," "Have You Beheld the Fevers?," and "Apokatastasis Pantôn."

2. Mantric - The Descent - Prosthetic

I mourned the loss of Norway's Extol when they disbanded, even though their final full-length The Blueprint Dives didn't hold a candle to their earlier death metal masterpieces Burial and Undeceived. Still, when three former members of Extol and current members of Lengsel formed Mantric, I felt relieved because I do fancy their mellower material. Thankfully, The Descent delivers fifty-one minutes of intricate, evocative post-metal. Though the growls of yesteryear have been traded in for raspy screams and clean singing, Mantric are aggressively confident. This is a unique album from a unique band, a band whose musicians deserve to be heard no matter what type of music they play.

3. Alcest - Écailles de Lune - Prophecy

Frenchman Neige has been involved with excellent groups--Amesoeurs, Lantlôs, Mortifera, Peste Noire, among others--but Alcest is his best project and Écailles de Lune is the best album of his career. This brand of dreamy, wispy black metal may not pack the punch normally associated with the subgenre, but it succeeds through its use of tight musicianship that results in emotional passages, tugging on the heartstrings time and time again. "Percées de Lumière" is my favorite.

4. Agalloch - Marrow of the Spirit - Profound Lore

What I'm about to write is blasphemy, but so be it: I'm actually a little disappointed with Agalloch's Marrow of the Spirit. Because I hold these Oregonians in such high esteem, and because I think Ashes Against the Grain was the best album of 2006, and because I believe their previous LPs Pale Folklore and The Mantle are excellent too, I expected Marrow to be nothing short of brilliant. Sadly, it's only very, very good. I'd argue that Agalloch haven't changed all that much--depressive, BM-tinged metal heavily focused on nature--yet their records are distinct. Maybe I didn't get as hooked on this because its songs are lengthy--aside from the intro, there's not a song under 9:39 on here. The production downgrade doesn't help either. Even so, Agalloch remain one of the finer units around, cementing their spot among the elite with each passing year. I just wish I wanted to champion this as much as their former installments.

5. Enslaved - Axioma Ethica Odini - Indie Recordings

Norway's Enslaved are one of the most consistent bands on the planet, and that's a difficult feat to achieve over the course of eleven long-players. While many celebrated groups have blemishes in their discography, Enslaved prove that they remain a force to be reckoned with as Axioma Ethica Odini is another worthy addition to their catalog, a catalog free of miscues. Though I believe their heyday is behind them--try topping Below the Lights and Isa--they have yet to misstep.

6. The Ocean - Heliocentric - Metal Blade

7. The Ocean - Anthropocentric - Metal Blade

8. Twilight - Monument to Time End - Southern Lord

9. Red Sparowes - The Fear Is Excruciating, but Therein Lies the Answer - Sargent House

10. Martriden - Encounter the Monolith - Self-Released

Well that's it. With a new Ulcerate on the horizon, with possible new ones from Shining, Moonsorrow, Obscura, OSI, Believer, Benighted, Gorguts, Virgin Black, Absu, Opeth, Anata, Cult of Luna, and a host of others, 2011 looks like a promising year for metal. I'll be posting my best books list tomorrow, so stay tuned.

I Am Threatening

2010-12-30T23:51:00.000-05:00

My New Year's resolutions:

gain weight
read less
start smoking
commit a felony

I hope to post my best-of lists on Sunday. In the meantime, check out The Trustworthiness of Beards index I nabbed from Tres Crow. Apparently my beard is an Unkempt Beard a.k.a. The Homeless Beard, which means I'm threatening.

My Christmas Book Haul

2010-12-26T22:50:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Mine was good--busy, but good. Here are the books I got:

Aaron Burch - How to Predict the Weather

Sean Ferrell - Numb

Robert Lopez - Asunder

Eugene Marten - Firework

Benjamin Percy - The Wilding

Dawn Raffel - Further Adventures in the Restless Universe

Lee Rourke - The Canal

Matthew Simmons - A Jello Horse

Cyanide & Happiness - Ice Cream & Sadness

Unfortunately the Dzanc books haven't arrived yet, but I'm sure they will soon. I ordered the three--Burch, Lopez, and Raffel--directly from Dzanc, and the others I purchased at Carmichael's in Louisville. What books did you all get this Christmas?

IIII

2010-12-22T00:32:00.001-05:00

I'm glad to have a story called "CAUTION: Watch for Forklift Traffic" in Metazen's Christmas Charity E-Book 2010. It contains the work of Mel Bosworth, Andrew Bowen, J. Bradley, David Fishkind, Roxane Gay, Katrina Gray, Aubrey Hirsch, Sean Lovelace, John Minichillo, Bradley Sands, Patrick Wensink, xTx, and many others. It'll be available soon, so keep checking the above link for details. In the meantime, take a gander at this mug:

Click to enlarge.

That's none other than Jereme Dean, the host of the TV show Readin' Nietzsche and Smokin' Weed--coming this fall to MTV. Speaking of weed, some of the hoses we received at the plant tonight smelled like pot. Don't know why, but it was funny nonetheless.

Karen Lillis, a.k.a. Karen the Small Press Librarian, asked me for three small press picks for Small Press Holiday Recommendations: On the Eve of Winter Solstice. My picks are in the middle of the post.

Hunter Choate included decomP in his 25 Online Literary Journals Getting Buzz guest post for Burrow Press.

New books available for pre-order are by Heather Fowler, Jamie Iredell, and Ben Tanzer.

New(ish) issues: Barrelhouse, The Collagist, Hobart, Moon Milk Review, Northville Review, PANK, Prick of the Spindle, Word Riot.

The Wolves of Tomorrow

2010-12-19T22:44:00.001-05:00

Remember Crossballs: The Debate Show on Comedy Central? Yes? No? Either way, it's a show worth watching (again). "In this parody of topical debate shows," according to IMDb, "Crossballs pits unsuspecting real experts against comedians posing as experts, debating each other on various issues." Unfortunately the show, which aired in 2004, didn't last long and isn't available on DVD, but the CrossballsTV channel on YouTube has uploaded a few episodes. My favorite is the one about drugs:

Looking ahead, I'm anticipating Onion SportsDome, slated to debut on January 11 at 10:30 p.m. EST on Comedy Central.

I hope everyone has a happy Christmas. I'll be online soon after to post my annual book haul, as well as my 2010 best-of lists. And now, an apt video considering my love of metal:

Reinforcements

2010-12-11T01:17:00.000-05:00

Lori Nix constructs then photographs models of post-apocalyptic scenery. Library, above, is my favorite, but there are many more in The City, "which postulates what it would be like to live in a city that is post man-kind, where man has left his mark by the architecture, but mother nature is taking back these spaces."

I've always enjoyed apocalyptic and dystopian tales. I've had the pleasure of publishing many such stories and poems in decomP: Ryder Collins's "A Steampunk Guide to the Apocalypse," Matt DeBenedictis's "Death Ensemble," Stacia M. Fleegal's "Post-Apocalyptic," Jeffrey Greene's "After the Tremors," and, most recently, Robert Hinderliter's "A Thousand Fires."

Thine Hour Hast Come

2010-12-04T00:52:00.000-05:00

Last weekend was good. I spent Black Friday assembling this:

Init TV Stand for Flat-Panel TVs Up to 58"

When we finished that, we set this atop it:

50" Panasonic Plasma HDTV

I, of course, didn't purchase nor receive these items as gifts. My mom's boyfriend bought them for my mom as early Christmas presents. Though the TV's not mine, I enjoy having a really nice TV in the living room. It looks a lot better than our previous setup, too.

On Sunday I helped my mom decorate the house for Christmas. It's not finished, but it's close, more or less. I look forward to Christmas. It's an excuse to spend money, which I like doing.

The December 2010 issue of decomP is live today. Normally I don't promote new issues on my blog that much because of how much I promote them via e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, etc., but hey, perhaps there's someone out there who wouldn't know about it otherwise if I didn't mention it here. Lots of contributors and audio in this issue.

Issue 10 of > kill author is now online, with work from Tina Hyland, Annam Manthiram, Heather Momyer, Noel Sloboda, Jeanann Verlee, Laura Yes Yes, others.

Pittsburgh's Daniel Casebeer continues to fight the good fight. His latest attack is Pear Noir! #5, available for pre-order for $10, which has writing from Gabe Durham, Jen Michalski, and many others.

I'll be guest editing SmokeLong Quarterly next week--Monday, December 6 through Sunday, December 12--so if you have something that meets the guidelines, submit it come Monday.

Winter, though not officially here yet, can be felt outside. It's been cold and windy in IN, and we've had light snow a couple times. Perfect black metal weather, I say, and, as such, I've been spinning:

Deathspell Omega - Paracletus

Drudkh - Autumn Aurora

Horde - Hellig Usvart

Devouring Famine

2010-11-24T23:32:00.000-05:00

THE2NDHAND, edited by Todd Dills, is raising funds via Kickstarter to publish All Hands On: THE2NDHAND After 10, 2000-2011. A pledge of $14 or more gets you the 300+ page book. I've been a fan of T2H ever since I was introduced to it in 2004. It was one of the first literary magazines I read, and had work in, along with Pindeldyboz. Please support this project!

Mickey Hess interviewed me as part of his series "Interviews With My Former Students" for Small Doggies Magazine. Check it out here.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I've already eaten my first piece of pecan pie--my favorite pie. My cat, The Grey One, evidently likes it too as she licked the plate when I finished. The rest of the week will consist of eating a lot, decorating for Christmas, and listening to the new records from Agalloch, Deathspell Omega, and The Ocean.

Rebirth in the Sterile Triad of Six

2010-11-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

The first time I watched this I thought, Oh no, thinking the cat was about to be devoured. At 1:05 I thought, Run kitty! But the badass cat stays and proves yet again that the feline is the superior species.

I finally got to work some overtime yesterday. I haven't worked any in a month and a half. This'll help because I'll be off without pay on Thanksgiving. Because I'm a temp, I don't get paid for the ten days we're off in December either, which sucks. Looks like I may be selling some stuff on eBay to make ends meet. The saving graces could be my tax refund and getting to work more overtime in the spring and summer. If I don't get at least a few hundred dollars back come tax refund time, I'll have no choice but to stage a coup.

Yes, I saw Jackass 3D recently, and it was hilarious, as I thought it'd be. I've been a Jackass fan ever since it began. It was my first time seeing a 3D movie (sorry, Swartwood). I enjoyed the 3D aspect, but I don't think I'll be seeing many movies in 3D. It's not worth the extra money. Unfortunately there's no 2D alternative for Jackass 3D--hence the title, I suppose. My favorite skits were "Beehive Tetherball" and "Electric Avenue." What impresses me is that, from movie to movie, they always manage to up the ante. I eagerly await Jackass 4D.

Flavorwire says decomP is one of the 10 Online Lit Mags You Should Be Reading, along with Moon Milk Review, [PANK], > kill author, among others. We're at #8. It's cool to get recognized. Naturally, as editor, I think d is underrepresented when it comes awards and such.

The middle of the month brings new issues from The Collagist, PANK, and Word Riot.

Stuff coming soon that will be good:

Spencer Dew's Mont-Saint-Michel and Chartres from Another New Calligraphy on November 30.

Unbound

2010-11-13T17:51:00.000-05:00

I recently applied to a PhD program. I'm only going to apply to one this year, for several reasons. First, I don't wanna spend the money needed to apply to many programs, because I don't have it to spend. Applying to each school costs between $70-$100 by the time you pay their application fee, have your GRE scores sent, and mail transcripts, samples, etc. to various offices. Second, I figured I might as well concentrate on getting accepted to the school I most want to go to and have the best shot at getting in to. I base the latter on being selected for the waiting list last year. Third, which kind of ties into the first reason, I've grown tired of giving money to schools that I'll never have anything to do with, which is partly why I didn't apply to more.

Anyhow, I'll receive a decision in March or April of next year. Wish me luck. I'll probably need it.

Meet Me on the Mountaintop

2010-11-11T03:48:00.000-05:00

Brandon Hardesty is good at reenacting movie scenes. These are my two favorites:

He has over fifty, among other videos. Check 'em out.

Paranoid Parrot is funny:

Let There Be Firmament

2010-11-05T18:09:00.000-04:00

One thing I pre-ordered recently is Dark Sky Magazine #1, with work from Rusty Barnes, Mel Bosworth, Gabe Durham, Molly Gaudry, Jac Jemc, et al. Buy it for $10.

They also just published their November Web issue. I really enjoyed Ravi Mangla's "Ways," and believe it should be read posthaste.

I also pre-ordered Sententia #2.

This one has a monster line-up: Roxane Gay, Barry Graham, Nathan Graziano, Brad Green, Robert Lopez, Scott McClanahan, bl pawelek, Andrew Roe, Ethel Rohan, Peter Schwartz, Gregory Sherl, et al. Buy it for $10.

Thousands of new e-issues hit within the past few days--The Dream People: Kyle Hemmings, Ryan Ridge | Emprise Review: Matt Bell, Mel Bosworth, Sheldon Lee Compton, John Minichillo & Katrina Gray, Mickey Hess, xTx | FRiGG: Kathy Fish, John Minichillo | Hobart: Salvatore Pane, Anne Valente | LITnIMAGE: Gay Degani, Michelle Reale, Garrett Socol | The Reprint: Matt Bell, Roxane Gay, Sean Lovelace, J. A. Tyler

November 9 will be an epic day for metal:

Atheist - Jupiter

Deathspell Omega - Paracletus

The Ocean - Anthropocentric

Also, November 23 will rule too:

Agalloch - Marrow of the Spirit

This week was boring. >=(

Take It Off: New Story in W. W. Norton's Hint Fiction: An Anthology of Stories in 25 Words or Fewer

2010-10-31T01:24:00.000-04:00

Psyched to have "Take It Off" in W. W. Norton's Hint Fiction: An Anthology of Stories in 25 Words or Fewer, edited by Robert Swartwood, and officially released tomorrow, November 1, though bookstores have already set it out and e-stores are already shipping it. The line-up is excellent, featuring Ryan W. Bradley, Randall Brown, Frank Byrns, Gay Degani, David Erlewine, Roxane Gay, John Minichillo, Noel Sloboda, and many others. I finished reading the anthology a few days ago, and I must say that I enjoyed it even more than I thought I would. There's a lot of cool short shorts within.

Today we celebrated my dad's birthday, even though his birthday is technically on Halloween. We saw RED, which is pretty good, and went to eat at The Old Spaghetti Factory in downtown Louisville. Going downtown was interesting because it was my first close look at the new KFC Yum! Center, built for the Louisville Cardinals. It'll also host to concerts. Anyhow, it's kind of an odd-looking building, but I do like it. I haven't found any pictures that capture the view from Indiana that well. Here's the entrance, though:

And here's a rendering:

I haven't been inside yet, but I'd definitely like to see the interior. There are a lot of pictures on their Facebook page, so check that out if you're intrigued.

Speaking of the Cardinals, I really dig their logo--the colors, font, and pissed-off cardinal.

This would hurt, but is very entertaining to watch:

I was a big fan of the original The Tom Green Show--not his shitty talk show--and tonight I watched my favorite clip from it yet again: